FIRST, A LITTLE BUSINESS:

Welcome back! You have not heard from us in awhile, but we have not gone anywhere (alas, alas!). I hope every one of you is ready for five new issues of the EWFC NL this year (fitting, number, no?). This year promises to be our best yet (well, that doesn't sound too hard, does it?) and we have lots of exciting things in store (don't you get tired of parenthetic expressions?)

By the time you get this newsletter, there will be a completely new Ed Wasser Fan Club web site. We kind of like shaking things up every now and then. Ed says it is kind of like kicking over an anthill, every successive generation comes back stronger. This new website was the brainchild of Michael Battle, a professional web site creator and a fan. Many, many thanks to Michael and salutes to his talent. Check out the new site at:

http://www.wasser.com Webmaster note: you're already here :)

Look for a new newsletter around May 15.

Editors

UPDATE US ON THE LAST FEW MONTHS OF YOUR LIFE.
Well, Suzanne and I just bought a house together.  We have been spending most of our free time fixing it up.  We're having a lot of fun remodeling the place, and boy does it need it.  We bought a real fixer upper -- basically it was the worst house on the block. Actually, now that I think about it, a friend of mine came up with a great idea:  Just find a bunch of fans that are master carpenters and have them do the house for me.  It sounds like a plan.  Anyone interested!  :>)

ANYTHING WE SHOULD LOOK FOR YOU IN?
Well as some of you know, my most recent episode of B5 will be on the 11th of March.

IS IT WEIRD TO WATCH YOURSELF IN A MOVIE OR ON TV? DO YOU WATCH WITH A CRITICAL EYE?
I don't enjoy watching my work at first. It takes viewing it a couple of times before I can get past the toughest critic, myself!  Maybe the 3rd time through I can take a step back, but it's hard.

THOUGHTS ON YOUR COMING BIRTHDAY... WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED IN THE LAST YEAR? ANY GOALS FOR THE COMING YEAR?
WOW! My Birthday...thank you for remembering.  Byron, I still feel bad that I called you two days late on yours-- or was it two weeks? I hope that you will forgive me. Anyway, getting back to your question,  this year has been very challenging.  I have learned that "It's OK to take a break from life by simply living it!"
As for goals, I believe finishing this house in the next four to six months would satisfy me, along with landing a TV series.  I don't think that I'm asking for too much! :>)

TELL US ABOUT YOUR REGIMEN FOR STAYING IN SHAPE - BOTH BODY AND SOUL.
Well, I would have to say that my mind feeds my body.  If I don't have a healthy way of thinking and I'm not meditating and saying my prayers, all else becomes secondary.  I could be in the best shape I have ever been in and still feel lousy.  Don't get me wrong, having a healthy body is important, I prefer it.  :>)  It just isn't the most important!  I truly believe in "Healthy Mind, Healthy Body."

As for my body, it's relatively easy for me.  I eat right, and not at night.  I work out by taking long walks,  pushups and crunches and a lot of stretching.  I also play Soccer on Sundays with the guys and that I really love to do.

As for my soul, I try to keep up on my meditation and prayer work and read books that will help me continue to expand my comfort zone. Feed the spiritual fire so to speak!.

HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING UP WITH BABYLON 5?
I tune in occasionally, but not as often.  For me it's something I have worked on and have moved on from.  Originally I thought JMS was going to find something else for me to do on the show, for instance, write a new character and bring me back as an alien or something.  Well I guess it just wasn't in the cards for that to happen.  If they should approach me with another role, great!  If not, I'm too worried, there are other irons in the fire I am looking forward to.

WE HAVE ALL ASKED YOU THE "SHADOW QUESTION": WHAT DO YOU WANT. BUT NOW LET'S ASK YOU THE "VORLON QUESTION": WHO ARE YOU?

"I AM WHAT YOU WANT!  Who are you?"

Complete the sentence:

Voting age should be moved to...
"four and under.  This way we will have a real fighting chance to elect someone with breasts!"

I think they should outlaw...
"bad breath and nasty people!"

I usually do my taxes...
"before they do me."

Green is a horrible color ...
"when it takes the form of envy and greed...otherwise, it's one of my favorite colors and I wear it a lot."

I always get a headache when...
"I have to think, like right now!"

For best picture the only choice is...
"Contact was awesome, Devil's Advocate was truly powerful, but of course Titanic is shear brilliance and my first choice for best picture."

I would be embarrassed if I ever told anyone that I...
"I don't know, I have no secrets, I'm not ashamed of anything, except for one time when I went to the zoo and fell in the gorilla pit and got bunked up the boot by Hans the gorilla."

Finally, we need another joke:

Bob receives a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium-he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line.  He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"  The man says no.

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible.  Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?"  The man replies,  "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.  This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat?  A relative or a close friend?"  "No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."

Michael Battle has used his ample talents to create the new fan club web site. And what a site it is! You can tell Michael does this for a living. Look for more stuff on the site in the coming months. I asked Michael to say a few words to introduce himself:

"A thought from the Webmaster.

Well, OK, not much of a thought, more a once-over. Byron asked me to write this piece, I'm not sure what he wants me to say.

"How did you meet Ed?" In my room at Stellar Occasion 3, I shoved a drink in his hand and demanded that he drink it. He did and almost fell out off the window.

"No,  really, how did you meet Ed?" Like I said, I almost killed him with PURE EEEVILLL.

"No, really, tell the story." I'm not kidding! OK, this is how it went. Not only is the above true, but, I maintain the Stellar Occasion web page (http://www.cyberramp.net/~phoenix/stellar.html). For Stellar 3, Ed was one of our guests. I was sitting around with Edith DeGolyer and we were banding ideas around as we are oft to do. And the idea of having a link on the page for people to ask Morden what they want came about. I put it on the page and got some interesting responses. One in particular came my way from an individual named Suzanne. Anyway, this starts a conversation that leads Suzanne into revealing that she is Ed's significant other. Cool, for a second I thought I had some strange person on the other end of the e-mail.

After that, we start talking for the hell of it. (BTW: Suzanne, you are one way cool person.)  So, it's con time. Everybody is doing their best to be organized. I am standing in the mezzanine of the Hotel with the Con Chair, Meri Hazelwood. Strange person comes up to me and grabs me around the arms. "Hi, Mike!" Kinda shocked, I look right at this person, and it's Ed. Morden has just grabbed me as if I'm his best friend, this looks weird. I'm shocked, pleasantly shocked, but shocked nonetheless. This guy does not know me that well, what happens next? All fears drained away the moment I realized that he was very sincere. It took me about a minute to figure that out. He really is what you see in person, surprising, elfish and charming. He is Morden, but admirable.

PURE EEEVILLL, vile, red, distilled. Well, almost.

Later that evening, several people are gathered, as often is the case, and Ed shows up. He has to drink it, we were wanting new victims. Ed drank it, first words out of his mouth: "Robitussin!" We think he didn't like it, we agreed. Although I still believe it was Vicks Formula 44.

Ed is a real standup guy. He didn't fall out the window.

Ed will be attending a convention at sea July 5 - 12. The cruise sets sail out of New York, and goes up the coast to Canada. People can sign up for 2, 5, or 7 night segments. If you want to travel alone, but don't want the extra cost of a single, they can even help you find a roommate. For more information, email whocruiser@aol.com or point your browser to http://members.aol.com/sfcruise. (If you go on this trip, introduce yourself to Ed and tell him you get his AWESOME newsletter...)

P.S.  Check his website for other appearances.  He has a convention in Miami the first weekend in April.  We don't have the specifics as of yet, but check his website www.wasser.com. (Webmaster Note: Check out the What's New page, Latest Information is available there.)

Hi everybody,

It seems like it's been a long time since I spoke to you last.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful '98.  The quick news is that Suzanne and I bought a house. And we're having a great time putting it together.

If you guys haven't seen the new website yet, check it out.  Mike Battle was kind enough to create and design a magnificent website for the EWFC.  He truly is the webmaster extraordinaire, and I feel blessed to have his creative talents working for the fan club.  For those of you who are interested, he's for hire and I strongly recommend him.  In two weeks time his work has earned over 13 awards.  Thank you Mike for all your hard work, I can't tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done.

Some questions come in a lot about conventions and how I feel about them.  Well, I have to tell you that I love to do them.  It's such a great opportunity to meet everyone, the fans.  I also love to travel so that doesn't hurt either.  When it comes time to get up on stage and talk to you guys, I get a rush of "Here we go...let's have a blast."  I love to make people laugh, and I love to tell stories.  So when you guys are laughing and I'm telling stories it's then I remember why I'm in this crazy business.  I simply love to entertain!  I enjoy it! So, these conventions aren't just for the fans but for me too.

When I prepare for a convention, I bring all of my favorite books with me.  One hour before I go on, I begin to read and what ever strikes me in that moment, I read it again with the audience in mind.  If it still touches me, there is a good chance you will hear it in my talk.  As for the stories I tell, well, that depends on the audience and where we end up going as a group.  If you guys ask me about the price of oil in Egypt, I will probably  tell you how I totaled my Dad's 1978 Pontiac Bonneville.  Oil, gas, cars, I don't know just free association I guess.  That's the fun part, when you guys ask me questions and I don't answer them. It isn't intentional, honest!  I try to answer them but all these stories just pop into my head, and I just can't control myself.  By the way, did I ever tell you about the time...just kidding! :>)

Anyway, not to change the subject or anything, but I have to share with you this "New Years Resolution For A Dog!"  It sounded so familiar I thought it was written about my dog, Shiloh.

1. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
2. I am a dog, not a cow; grass is not food.
3. Even though I'm a springer, I will not spring through the open car window and into the fast food restaurant, no matter how good it smells.
4. The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible.
5. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
6. I will not throw up in the car.
7. I *will* scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.
8. I will not roll in dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
9. I will not eat other animals' poop.
10. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
11. I will not roll my head around in other animals' poop.
12. "Kitty box crunches" are not food.
13. I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
14. I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
15. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
16. I will not chew crayons or pens, specially not the red ones, or my owner will think I am hemorrhaging.
17. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
18. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
19. I will not walk under the big dog when he is peeing.
20. I will not bite my Daddy in the ass when he turns away just after scolding me.
21. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
22. The sofa is not a face towel.
23. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

First, last issue's contest results:

Contest # 10:
How we can make the EWFC better and this newsletter better?
Winner will get a "Thank you for making my fan club better" phone call from da man himself, Ed Wasser.

And now for the winner: First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE ENTRIES. Really. This has been really wonderful! So many of you have so many good ideas, things I have never thought of. I mean that - this is not the required "there were so many good ideas" speech. It really was wonderful reading all of the different things people suggested. Most of the suggestions were little things, and I like that. Everything from "check your ASCII" (sorry...) to "include more people's names in the contest results." And dozens more. Other newsletter editors out there - do this exercise - ask people what they would change if they were in charge. You will get good results.

So, here are some things we gleaned. I have grouped things together by subject, somewhat. Look for these changes in the future:

THE WEB vs EMAIL
First, many people just have email access, so they do not want a web-only newsletter. So the email format stays. Having said that, people want more pictures and stuff on the web site.

CONS
Keep going with the convention appearances section. Make sure it has every convention. Try to get Ed to go to more conventions.

CONTESTS
Keep them going. Lots of fun. From now on, everyone who is a runner up (like a top 10 list) will have their name or handle put in the newsletter, so unless you put "don't include my name" or something like that, expect to see whatever you sign your email with in the newsletter.

FEEDBACK
A Letters to the Editor or comments section. OK, let's try this. Like any small town newspaper, we will have a letters section where we will print ALL letters that are submitted. You can email them to submissions@wasser.com. We might edit the letters for length, but we will do nothing else. We will identify or not identify you according to what you wish. Let's give this a try.

CONTENT & INTERVIEWS
More on B5, more on B5. Keep them coming. Talk about the acting process more, about conventions more. More submissions. (Hear that, more submissions. Write in about seeing Ed at a con, or just something that kind of ties into what we are doing. We are not that picky. See your name in print (sort of) and share your thoughts with 1000 other fans. Email to submissions@wasser.com.

Thanks to Sirpa, Mich, Lynn 20=, Clara, Martha, Lynn, Dawn, Michael, Edith, Tim, Wayne, and a dozen other people.

But now for the winner. This is a very hard contest to judge. Really. All of the entries were very different, so it was apples to oranges. So this is really hard to judge. Did I say it was hard to judge? However, in the end we want to award the winning prize to Greta, who thinks the readers of this newsletter ought to send in their pictures of themselves with Ed at conventions. We will scan those pics and have a section on the web page for that. I like this idea because it is in the end about "community." Ed never wanted this newsletter and club to be about HIM, per se, rather about US. So this small suggestion resonated in our minds as being, as G'kar might say, the most pure. Congrats Greta.

CONTEST #11
Limericks - The highest form of poetry:
Come up with an entertaining limerick starring Morden. Example:

There once was a man named Morden
Who hated to watch Flash Gordon
He iced ol' Kosh
Sheridan cried "Oh, my gosh!"
Now the ambassadors wing is cordoned.

Have your entries to contest@wasser.com by May 1. Usual prize: autographed pic of Ed.

Contrary to the rumors you may hear, we are not on the lam from the Law. You can contact us. To subscribe, email to subscribe@wasser.com. Conversely, when you have had enough, unsubscribe@wasser.com will do the trick. If you want to contribute anything, we will most likely print it, assuming it pertains to Ed, Morden, Shadows, B5 (i.e. is not griping about too many parenthetic expressions in the world (or even parenthetic expressions within parenthetic expressions)). Email to submissions@wasser.com. Letters to Ed are also welcome, and they are all read and answered by him. Ed's email is, you guessed it, ed@wasser.com. There is a web page for us at: http://www.wasser.com. Contest submissions are sent to contest@wasser.com. Unless you put "don't include my name", your name or handle (however you sign your email or your "from field") will be credited in the newsletter. We will not include email addresses though, just names.